Courage

The time I was brave

Bravery and fear

Fear is a funny thing. On the one hand, it keeps us safe by ensuring that we avoid dangerous situations. On the other hand, the things we sometimes fear don’t present any actual physical danger. Even worse, sometimes our fear can keep us static, afraid to take action.

Our fear response is drive by the amygdala, often called the lizard brain. It’s served a crucial evolutionary purpose, but unfortunately it hasn’t evolved too much along with us. And it’s the reason that we sometimes feel fear in situations where there’s no physical threat.

Fear is a completely natural response to all kinds of situations, and while it can be controlled it can’t be completely eliminated. To get things done regardless of fear, we have to be brave. Something I work with my leadership clients on.

 

What is bravery?

Bravery isn’t the absence of fear – it’s resilience to fear. People who are brave are usually not unafraid, but they make a choice to act regardless of the fear.

We tend to associate bravery with heroic deeds or life-threatening situations. Yet there’s a lot to be said for small, everyday acts of bravery. Whether it’s speaking up in a meeting or just saying ‘no’ to someone.

In a work context, being brave often means speaking out about something. Usually if you don’t agree with it, or you’re certain there’s a better way to do things. As a leadership coach, I often work with my clients on being brave at work, and supporting them to make the shift from hiding away who they really are …to showing up as their real self, expressing what they really think and feel, and standing by what they believe in.

Andrea Goodridge - Ad Florem Quote - Make the shift from turning up as the pretend you to showing up as the real you

 

To explore the idea of being brave, I like to share my own experiences with them. Here’s two similar situations I’ve encountered where I’ve had to stand up for what I believe in.

 

Being brave – the first time

The first example was while I was working in an organisation as an employee. During my time there, I was asked to do something I really didn’t feel comfortable with. It was in relation to an external assessment. I was preparing documentation to be provided to the external assessor, and my line manager at that time asked me to exclude certain information.

Their reasoning was that the external assessor ‘really didn’t need to see it.’  However, in my view it was important information that could change the assessment outcome. I’ve been brought up to know that honesty is always the best policy. And hiding this information just didn’t sit right with me.

I was brave, and spoke up. I shared that it made me feel very uncomfortable, and I believed the information should be included. Unfortunately, this was very quickly brushed aside. The focus was immediately back onto clarifying the documents I had to include. And the ones I had to remove.

I was flabbergasted! Not only had this affected my values around what I believed in, I couldn’t understand why the organisation would want to hide the information. The assessment process could provide valuable information to help the organisation improve, but the organisation wouldn’t benefit from this as it wasn’t being true to itself. If everything that wasn’t ideal was being hidden, how could the organisation learn and make changes?

Although I didn’t get the outcome I wanted and the information was omitted, I at least felt a little better knowing that I’d spoken up.

Andrea Goodridge - Ad Florem Quote - Doesn't feel right? Speak up. Challenge. Be honest. Be brave.

Being brave – the second time

Unfortunately, that’s not the only time I’ve experienced something like this. Much later in my career, I was being asked to deliver a programme to a group of leaders but I was specifically requested to keep certain information out of my introduction. When I challenged this, the response was that it was non-negotiable.

Again, I felt that this was important information, and that by leaving it out we were choosing to be dishonest with the group. This clash in my values caused me to reassess my position as I knew if I continued, I wouldn’t be true to myself.

I knew I had a choice. The choice I made was to share my concerns, which unfortunately led to nothing, so I walked away.

Be brave, and live your values

Although both experiences caused a misalignment with my values, what was different the second time was that I was running my own business.

The first experience I had been an employee and my circumstances didn’t enable me to walk away. The second time I was able to vote with my feet because it was my own business. The stakes were still high because the client was worth a lot of money, but it was the right decision for me.

In fact, some people at the time couldn’t believe I’d walked away from such a large amount of money. However it wasn’t worth compromising my values, and that’s always what comes first for me.

It’s times like this I’m reminded of what Jon Stewart said:

If you don’t stick to your values when they’re being tested, they’re not values: they’re hobbies.

Both of these examples had quite different outcomes. But on both occasions I was able to stand up for what I believed in. Even if I wasn’t taken as seriously on the first occasion.

What helped me to do so was being very clear on my personal values, and understanding how important it is to me to uphold them.

That’s why one of the modules in the ‘Find the Real You’ course is focused on values. Not only will you learn what values are and why they’re important, you’ll identify your own core values and what’s important to you. And most importantly, you’ll evaluate how close you’re living in alignment with your values and plan how you’re going to start living your values more fully.

Time for you – make one small change this week

I’m challenging you to make one change this week to be brave.

It can be as small as investing in yourself by buying one of my workbooks which will help you reflect on yourself, or registering for my Find the Real You online group coaching programme.

The change I most recommend to start with?

Reflection.

If you don’t already make time for daily reflection; this is my recommendation.

It really is one of the habits that makes a difference in my client’s leadership practice.

If you can only commit to five minutes per day, that’s OK. Set a timer and for those few minutes, look back on what has gone well during your day, and what you would do differently.

If you can commit to 1 hour this week, get a copy of one of my workbooks and start to reflect on you and your values. Believe me …they’ll make you think!

Building a regular practice of reflecting, recharging and refocusing helps you check-in with yourself and look after your wellbeing. Remember you can’t be a great leader, if you’re exhausted.

That’s why it’s so important to take regular time out. And when I say time out, I mean time away from the chaos and pressures of work, to reflect, recharge and refocus on you.

If you want to meet other people who are on their self-discovery, come and join our Facebook group  where you’ll get inspiration, support and useful tips for all things confidence and leadership.

Find out more about the course, and book your place here.

Want to take some time out to reflect, recharge and refocus on you?

You’ll love what I have for you:

Download your FREE guide here all about taking 5 minutes out just for you.

Download your FREE guide here all about finding the real you.

Join our Leadership Starts With You community here

Read one of my 100 blogs here

Buy one of my workbooks or online courses here – perfect if you want to focus on a specific area of self-discovery, enjoy self study, don’t need to ask any questions on the topic, and want to get a flavour of my style and approach before investing in a coaching programme.

Register for the Find the Real You online group coaching programme VIP list and be notified when books open for the next group coaching programme Find the Real You

Register for the Leadership Retreat VIP list and be notified when bookings open for the next retreat.

Book a call here to explore coaching with me

Resources

Got 5 minutes spare – make time for you. Download your FREE guide here

Inner Guide to Finding the Real You. Download your FREE guide here

Join our Leadership starts with you community here

Click here to see a range of testimonials from my leadership clients

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