WILL THE 'REAL YOU' PLEASE STAND UP!
You know that feeling when you’re nodding, smiling, saying “I’m fine” for the hundredth time, while something inside whispers, “This isn’t really me.”
Stop ignoring it. That whisper isn’t going away. It’s your soul demanding attention.
A nudge. An awakening. A reminder of who you really are.
My Gran saw through that mask in the mid-90s
I remember sitting in her garden after having my eldest son, feeling overwhelmed as a new Mum. As I admired the flowers she cared for, I couldn’t help but feel like I was wilting under the pressure of trying to be everything to everyone.
She turned to me and asked, “Are you looking after yourself?”
I looked back at her, not really understanding what she meant.
Then she said:
“You can’t be a great mum, wife, daughter, friend, neighbour, boss, etc., if you’re not a great you.
It all starts with you.”
Right there was my awakening.
I’d been so focused on meeting everyone’s expectations and conforming, that I’d buried my true identity. Just as her flowers needed the right conditions to flourish, I needed to nurture the ‘real me’ to show up genuinely in all my roles.
My Gran’s advice wasn’t about being selfish. It was a gentle nudge to remember who I was underneath all those roles.
That moment set me on a path to what I now call ‘realness.’
And soon I realised the struggle wasn’t just mine. People from all walks of life, irrelevant of job title or role were hiding behind masks of who they thought they ‘should’ be.
I wonder if you’ve felt that way too?
Maybe it was a breakup. A redundancy. A health scare. Burnout. The death of someone close. A career change that shook everything loose.
Or maybe there wasn’t one big moment. Maybe it’s been building quietly. Exhaustion from being everything to everyone, or this sense that you’ve outgrown the roles, the expectations, the version of yourself you’ve been performing.
Either way, something in you is saying, “I can’t keep living like this.”
“I’m DONE.”
You’re awakening to the real you, but you don’t know what that means yet. You’re in the in-between. The threshold. The moment before everything shifts. That’s where I come in.
I'm Andrea
I help deep thinkers and feelers remember who they really are beneath the masks, roles, and expectations. What I call bringing realness to life.
Put simply, I switch the light on inside, so the ‘real you’ can shine softly from within.
Over the years, people have asked “What do you do?” and I’d say, “Well, I’m a coach …but also I write …oh, and I make things too.”
Like I had to pick one box so they could file me away neatly. Coach since 2000, writer since 2015, creative since 2020. But I don’t fit in boxes. I never have.
I’m that straight-talking friend who’ll challenge you to challenge yourself, but always with warmth, heart, and honesty. Northern grit meets deep compassion.
I don’t teach you realness through scripts or rigid structures. I show you by living it. Guided by intuition, family wisdom, and 20+ years of doing this work, I hold up a mirror so you can see who you already are …not who you think you should become like a self-improvement project.
Some call it spiritual. Others call it direct. As my Dad used to say, “She knows her stuff!” Mainly because he didn’t know what to call it.
I call it ‘Soulful Challenge.’
I sense the energy and emotions beneath the surface. I feel what you’re experiencing before you’re even aware of it yourself. I catch the moments you slip into conformity, dim your light, or say words that don’t match your energy, and I gently call out the hiding.
Then I help you slow down enough to listen what you’ve been avoiding, running from, or too afraid to face. When we dig this deep, emotions surface. And that’s OK. It’s part of the work.
I help you make sense of what feels chaotic and unknowable, like those complex emotions you can’t name, the confusion about who you’ve become, who you’ve been pretending to be, and I reflect the truth back to you in plain language.
That’s when you meet the part of yourself you pushed down to survive. The gold you’ve been sitting on all along. The realness beneath all the layers.
Hide & Seek Work
For 20+ years, I’ve worked with people across three continents. Parents managing households, professionals navigating careers, creatives finding their voice, CEOs asking “what’s next?” and clinicians burned out from caring for everyone but themselves.
Hundreds of people who, like me, felt pressured to conform and show up each day with their ‘pretend selves.’ In public, they smile. In private, the pain spills out.
Picture a Russian doll. That’s you.
Over the years, you’ve added layers. The good employee. The reliable friend. The one who ‘has-it-all-together.’ The ‘go-to’ person who always does the ‘right’ thing. The one that agrees even when you don’t. The one who’s always available. The one who keeps up appearances. The strong one. The sorted one. The perfect parent.
Layer after layer, trying to fit in, be ‘perfect,’ please people, meet others’ expectations, protect yourself. Thinking it’s the normal thing to do.
And now? You barely know who you are underneath it all.
→ You’ve hidden behind your job title and role so long, you don’t know who you are without it.
→ You’ve got so good at reading the room, you’ve forgotten what you actually want.
→ You say “I’m fine” so automatically, you almost believe it yourself.
But in the process, you lost your identity. Your realness. I know because I did it too.
You’re playing hide and seek with the ‘real you,’
and you’re getting too good at hiding.
You come to me when you're DONE.
Done conforming.
Done pretending.
Done hiding.
That’s when you start telling the truth to yourself. That’s the real turning point.
You start observing and noticing. Listening for your hidden clues. You get curious. Challenge yourself.
You start making decisions based on what’s truly important to you. You start trusting yourself and choosing to live as the real you, not the version you built to cope.
You get calm. You get clarity. You get your life back.
You shine softly from within. Not as a performance or ‘big energy,’ but as who you actually are.
That’s what bringing realness to life looks like.
Real freedom. Real connection. Real purpose. Real fulfilment. Real joy. Real peace. Real you. Real life.
As my Gran said, “It all starts with you.” The ‘real you.’ Not the ‘pretend you’ you carry around to make the world think you’re OK.
The Good News?
The ‘real you’ is still there. Stubborn as ever. Trying to get your attention.
The question is: Will you listen?
My Dad wasn’t one for long speeches, but when he spoke, you listened.
“It’s either important, or it’s not. You choose.”
That’s the best advice he ever gave me.
No fluff. No excuses. Just straight to the heart of everything.
And at the heart of everything is this: the most important choice you’ll ever make is choosing yourself.
Because the people in your life don’t need the ‘pretend you.’
They need the ‘real you.’
The one who shines softly from within.
How I Help You Bring Realness To Life
Some people need a book. Some need something to hold in their hands. Some need a conversation that changes everything.
There’s no right way to start. Just your way.
Words that wake you up
My memoir, “She’ll Do It Her Way,” my weekly ‘Shine Softly emails, and Reflections Collection of audio pieces all slow you down and help you listen. Each one is a mirror with stories and everyday moments that show you where you’ve been hiding.
Art that anchors you back
My quiet guides collection – quote prints from my book and handmade pieces for when you need reminding. When conformity gets loud, these pieces whisper: “Remember who you are.” Simple. Grounding. Real.
Practice that challenges you
1:1 conversations and group programmes where I sense what you’re hiding, catch you in performance, and challenge you to tell yourself the truth. It’s where we go deep together. This is where everything shifts.
START HERE
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If this is for you.
You'll know.
You'll feel it.