She'll Do It Her Way
A soulful journey of family wisdom, hidden clues, and stepping away from conformity
Will the 'real you' please stand up
You know that feeling when you’re nodding, smiling, saying “I’m fine” for the hundredth time, while something inside whispers, “This isn’t really me?”
My Gran saw through that mask in the mid-90s, when she told me: “You can’t be a great mum, wife, daughter, friend, neighbour, boss, etc., if you’re not a great you. It all starts with you.”
That moment set me on a path, and I soon realised the struggle I felt wasn’t just mine. It was shared by people from all walks of life, hidden behind masks of who they thought they should be.
Since 2000, I’ve worked with thousands of people who felt pressured to conform and show up each day as their pretend selves. In public, they smiled. In private, the pain spilled out. The go-to people who always do the right thing, who wake up one day and realise they’ve lost themselves trying to meet everyone else’s expectations.
This isn’t a how-to book. It’s a memoir spanning four decades of stories and lessons from wise souls like my Gran, my Dad, and many more. Each chapter holds up a mirror, reflecting moments you might recognise in your own life, and gentle invitations to reconnect with the ‘real you.’
You’ll start to notice the hidden clues. Secret whispers that show up through your energy, intuition, and body’s wisdom when you’re conforming to expectations or living out of alignment with who you truly are.
I won’t tell you what to do or who to be. That wisdom is already within you.
I’ll invite you to remember who you really are, so you can do things your way, and shine softly from within.
What people are saying
“I loved the vivid stories about your grandparents and their simple, resilient lives. The emotional thread through all this is clear: real success and meaning do not come from fitting into society’s expectations, but from living true to you! It’s not loud or preachy, but it’s clear, and full of heart.” – Carla Whelan
“The way Andrea writes is so open, honest, and raw. She takes us through the process of writing, which makes it feel so real and 100% authentic. It is such a breath of fresh air that makes you sit up and want to continue reading, to not only discover more of Andrea, but to have more wow that’s me moments. You discover yourself at the same time as Andrea does. It’s like being hit with a giant mirror …it just resonates and makes sense of how I think and how I feel, but the mirror that Andrea holds up shows me I’m in control, I choose, and I can find the answers myself.” – James Williams
“It was a heartening read, giving me vocabulary and structure to my own lived experience. I’ve been on this journey, and I’m still on it. So, reading this was a comfort. A sense of shared experience, affirmation that I’m on the right path, and shining new light on all that has passed, all that I have become, and all that I can still be. I love the language and accessibility of this book, and how Andrea’s stories shine light so clearly on what it looks and feels like to be both unaligned and aligned.” – Entrepreneur
“It’s like having a two-way catch up with a good friend who truly gets you. I found myself oscillating between fits of laughter, by the relatable Northern dialect and full-blown psychological thrillers, to moments of gripped sadness realising the immense impact of sleepwalking and downplaying my magic, and those reassuring aha moments; my strength is what energise me; it’s either important or it’s not!“ – Joshi Jariwala
At one of my markets, someone picked up this book, read the back cover, and had tears in their eyes before they’d even bought it.
Another reader sent me 9 pages of personal reflections.
Readers from the UK to Jamaica to New Zealand are finding themselves in these pages.
If this book is for you.
You’ll know.
You’ll feel it.
A signed copy directly from me to you.
Typical postage: UK £2.80 | USA £16.90 | Europe £12.35 | Australia £19.75
Email me at andrea@adflorem.com to order yours.
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Already Read The Book?
You know those Real-Time Reflections in the book where I stopped and told you what was coming up for me as I wrote?
Now it’s your turn. Something will have stirred. A moment you recognised. A line that stayed with you. Whatever it was, it matters. Even one line. I read every one.
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And if you’re not already reading my weekly letters, Shine Softly – this is where the conversation begins.
