Sharing is caring!

It’s taken me a long time to learn it’s OK to be me! Like most leaders, I’d previously spent my time focusing on anything and everything that landed on my desk. Yet that approach was draining my energy, leaving me feeling less than motivated at work.

Taking it back to 2015 …my first 12 months in business

After my first 12 months in business, I sat down and reflected on what I’d achieved.

I’d worked with senior leaders in NHS Acute Trusts, Ambulance Trusts, Local Authorities and both established and start-up businesses. I’d partnered with two professional institutions and two event organisers to provide leadership workshops across the UK. I also partnered with Salford University to create an online learning programme enabling leaders to hold coaching conversations to nurture individual performance and growth.

But when I looked back in my diary, I realised I’d also been involved in activities that didn’t feel like achievements or give me a sense of fulfilment. Sure enough, I’d been involved. I’d done something. However, none of it made me smile.

Many of these things I did in my first year kept me busy and my diary full, but on reflection, I realised this was just ‘stuff.’

Not being me resulted in no energy

Sure enough, I could do it. But it didn’t energise me, and therefore didn’t make my list of achievements or things that gave me a sense of fulfilment.

Of course, some of the things I was focusing on did light me up and energise me. But I didn’t have a way to identify how to focus on those tasks.

Time to understand the real me

In my coaching work, I’m always encouraging my clients to relax and allow their personalities to shine through in their leadership. But it took me a long time to reach that realisation for myself …and be the real me!

When I finally got serious about understanding my values, strengths, and purpose, I also got clearer about which tasks were working for me and which ones were draining me. I reflected that if I wanted to do something, I needed to fully commit, which involved stepping away from certain people and projects and contracting others to complete certain tasks on my behalf.

The difference in how that made me feel, and perform, was like the difference between night and day.

When I made these changes, even though my diary was initially less full, I had much more energy to be present, connect with people and bring my whole self to my work. Exactly what I encourage my clients to do!

I made a commitment to myself

I made the decision to only spend time on activities that energised me and where I could add value. And when I told my Mum she said this was very “diva-ish!” But for me, it was simple. Basically, if I wasn’t going to feel it, and be energised by it, I wasn’t going to believe in it and therefore wouldn’t perform at my best.

Now seven years into my business, and it’s working great!

I’m much more comfortable with who I am. I no longer feel I have to do something just because I can. Or behave, dress or speak in a certain way if it saps my energy. It’s more important that my energy is present with people, so I can give the best of myself, and be the real me!

Who is the real you?

We’re naturally ourselves at home, among our family and friends. Yet as soon as we step into the workplace, we sometimes feel like we have to put on a new persona to fit in. Of course, behaving exactly as you do at home isn’t really the answer either. So how do you bring enough of you to your leadership, while still remaining professional?

The answer lies in focusing on self-leadership; and discovering your values, strengths, and purpose. They’re the things that drive and guide you, and when you align them with work, that’s when the magic happens.

Want to learn more about the real you?

Download my Inner Guide to Finding the Real You which sets out 10 reflective questions to improve your awareness and confidence in being the real you.

 

Know your values

Understanding yourself requires digging deeper into why certain things matter to you. This is where you get to understand and identify your personal values. We all have a set of personal values that determine how we approach life and what makes us happy – and unhappy.

Those values can change and shift over time, but they are always at the very core of who we are. Identifying your values gives you valuable insight into what drives you, and helps you make better choices that energise and uplift you.

When you live in accordance with your values, you’re authentically you. The more you align your actions with your values, in your leadership, and in your personal life, the happier you will become.

Know your strengths

Another vital piece of the puzzle is understanding your strengths and knowing how to choose tasks that play to them. When your work is made up mostly of tasks that align with your values and your strengths, you’ll add more value as well as feeling energised.

Are you always the first person to come up with new ways of doing things? Perhaps your focus should be on continuous improvement projects or innovation in your organisation.

Are you particularly empathetic and tuned in to how others feel? Perhaps your focus should be on customer delight and employee engagement.

Whatever your strengths are, taking on more work that’s aligned with them and stepping away from work that doesn’t use any of them will help you add real value to your leadership teams and your organisation.

Time for you to reflect on your values and strengths

Take some time now to write down three words that you feel define your values. Integrity, Respect, Honesty, Efficiency, Boldness… any three words that describe how you want to live your life.

Now reflect on your strengths. What do you excel at? Are you a clear communicator, a great persuader, or a number crunching genius? Write down your top three strengths.

Looking at the two lists, how can you align them with your leadership? Is the work you’re doing now matching with them? Is there friction between the work you’re doing and your own personal values and strengths?

Your values and your strengths drive your purpose

Your purpose is very personal. It’s linked to your values and your strengths, combined with your life experiences. However, for many leaders, uncovering it is difficult. It’s often hidden under many layers.

Until you uncover the heart of it, you’re only scratching the surface.

Your purpose is a very personal thing. While it will (and should!) influence your leadership role and how you present yourself as a leader; it remains no matter what role you are in. It drives what you do and how you do it, in every situation.

Why being the real you is important

Since I chose only to do work that aligns with me and my values, my business runs more smoothly than ever before. I see the same thing over and over with the leaders I support. When they align their work with their values and strengths, they get better results. It’s about:

• Standing by what you believe in, and starting to use your values in every choice you make and every action you take
• Utilising your strengths, and starting to do activities that energise you and give you a real sense of fulfilment
• Saying no to just ‘stuff,’ and starting to take purposeful action by contributing positively
• Starting to see meaning in your days, so you can achieve results that matter to you
• Identifying where you need to spend your energy and focus, and starting to take control of your career and living your life based on what you believe in
• Feeling more confident in your abilities, standing tall, and taking the shackles off, so you can proudly start to live your life as the real you

Remember, when you fully understand what’s driving you, it’s easier to take action to divert your time and your energy toward what matters most to you.

 

Give yourself a breather and take 5 minutes for you

The easy part is reading my blog …the harder part is choosing to change something after reading it. Give yourself a breather and take 5 minutes for you. Reflect on what you’re taking away from my blog, and more importantly what needs to change. I’m challenging you to make one change this week to be the real you.

So …what will it be?

I’d love to hear how you plan to be the real you, so let me know in the comments or send me an email andrea@adflorem.com

Want to be the real you?

You’ll love my one-to-one, personalised coaching. Support from someone outside your organisation who’ll give you the space you need to speak your mind, listen without judgement, encourage you to open up and listen to your inner self, and look at things from different perspectives.

Remember with leadership, it all starts with you! It’s time to stop and look within yourself. The answers are already in your head, you just need the time and space for them to emerge.

Book a call here to explore coaching with me

You can also talk to me about the Find the Real You programme.

Start getting your regular dose of leadership tips and inspiration with the ‘Leadership Breather’ – encouraging you to give yourself a breather and take 5 minutes for you.

Download your FREE guide here all about taking 5 minutes out just for you.

Download your FREE guide here all about finding the real you.

Download your FREE list here all about becoming a great leader.

Sharing is caring!