WILL THE 'REAL YOU' PLEASE STAND UP!
You know that feeling when you’re nodding, smiling, saying “I’m fine” for the hundredth time, while something inside whispers, “This isn’t really me?”
Stop ignoring it. That whisper isn’t going away. It’s your soul demanding attention.
My Gran saw through that mask in the mid-90s
I remember sitting in her garden after having my eldest son, feeling overwhelmed as a new Mum.
As I admired the flowers she cared for, I couldn’t help but feel like I was wilting under the pressure of trying to be everything to everyone.
She turned to me and asked, “Are you looking after yourself?”
I looked back at her, not really understanding what she meant.
Then she said:
“You can’t be a great mum, wife, daughter, friend, neighbour, boss, etc., if you’re not a great you.
It all starts with you.”
Right there, in that moment, it hit me.
I’d been so focused on meeting everyone’s expectations that I’d buried my true identity. Just as her flowers needed the right conditions to flourish, I needed to nurture my inner self to show up genuinely in all my roles.
My Gran’s advice wasn’t about being selfish.
It was a gentle nudge to remember who I was underneath all those roles.
I wonder if you’ve felt that way too.
That moment set me on a path to authenticity, and I soon realised the struggle I felt wasn’t just mine. It was shared by people from all walks of life, often hidden behind masks of who they thought they ‘should’ be.
And this became one of my big inspirations for writing my book,
“She’ll Do It Her Way.”
I'm Andrea - Your 'Soulful Challenger'
I’m that straight-talking friend who’ll challenge you to challenge yourself, but always with warmth, heart, and Northern grit.
I don’t work with job titles. I work with deep thinkers and feelers who are done pretending and ready to remember who they really are. So they can shine softly from within.
I’ve worn many labels – coach since 2000, writer since 2015, creative since 2020. But I don’t split myself into those boxes anymore. It’s all part of my ‘Soulful Challenge’:
- Words that wake you up
- Art that anchors you back to yourself
- Practice that helps you show up as the ‘real you’
Because some people need a book. Some need something to hold in their hands. Some need a conversation that changes everything.
How I Work
I help you find the ‘real you’ that’s been hiding under all the noise, so you can feel like yourself again, but better.
I call this ‘Hide & Seek Work.’ But you’re not hiding from your job title or role. You’re hiding from who you really are underneath all those labels.
Over 20+ years, I’ve trained in coaching, mentoring, action learning, and emotional intelligence. But what makes the real difference isn’t what I learned on a course – it’s my innate ability to tune into energy and intuitive guidance.
I feel what you’re experiencing in my body before you’re even aware of it yourself. Chills, goosebumps, sometimes tears. Then I reflect back the simple reality underneath all your complicated words. So you can finally see what you’ve been avoiding and choose differently.
As my Dad used to say, “She knows her stuff!” Mainly because he didn’t know what to call it. Some call it spiritual. Others call it direct.
The Struggle With Authenticity Is Universal
For 20+ years, I’ve worked with people across three continents – parents managing households, professionals navigating careers, creatives finding their voice, CEOs asking “what’s next?” and clinicians burned out from caring for everyone but themselves. Hundreds of people who, like me, felt pressured to conform and show up each day with their ‘pretend selves.’
In public, they smile. In private, the pain spills out.
I’ve seen it over and over again: the ‘go-to’ people who always do the ‘right’ things, wake up one day and realise they’ve lost themselves trying to meet everyone else’s expectations.
→ You’ve hidden behind your job title and role so long, you don’t know who you are without it.
→ You’ve got so good at reading the room, you’ve forgotten what you actually want.
→ You say “I’m fine” so automatically, you almost believe it yourself.
You’re playing hide and seek with the ‘real you,’
and you’re getting too good at hiding.
The Good News?
The ‘real you’ is still there. Stubborn as ever. Trying to get your attention. Telling you something needs to change.
Your thinking. Your perspective. Your job. Your relationship. Your environment. Your approach to life.
So, the question isn’t whether you’re hiding.
You are.
The question is whether you’re brave enough to stop.
The Choice Is Yours
My Dad wasn’t one for long speeches, but when he spoke, you listened.
“It’s either important, or it’s not. You choose.”
That’s the best advice he ever gave me.
No fluff. No excuses. Just straight to the heart of everything.
And at the heart of everything is this: the most important choice you’ll ever make is choosing yourself.
You can keep waiting for the ‘right time’ to show up as the ‘real you.’
Keep pretending everything’s fine. Keep saying yes when you mean no. Keep putting others first.
Or, you can choose you.
Because the people in your life don’t need the ‘pretend you.’
They need the ‘real you.’
What Are You Going To Do Right Now?
Maybe you’re sitting there thinking, “This is hitting hard, but I don’t know where to start.” Perfect. That uncomfortable feeling? That’s your soul waking up.
Or maybe you’re already planning to bookmark this page and “come back to it later” when you have more time. That’s the conformity trap talking. Putting everyone else’s needs before your own, even when your soul is trying to get your attention.
→ Join my ‘Shine Softly’ emails. Think of them as soul-nudges from a friend. Usually weekly, sometimes less. Because I only write when there’s something real to say, not just because it’s Sunday. Sometimes it’s a story that stops you in your tracks. Sometimes it’s one line that sticks with you. Always something that makes you think and remind you to shine softly from within.
If you want to go deeper:
→ Read She’ll Do It Her Way – a soulful, intimate memoir that invites you to remember who you truly are beneath the roles, masks, and expectations. It will catch you in the act of hiding. £20. Click here to buy
→ Browse Quiet Guides – art prints and wall art inspired by my book. Each piece I make brings you back to yourself. From £15. Click here to view the collections
→ Start your ‘Hide & Seek Work’ and work directly with me, from 1:1 conversations £150, to bespoke coaching programmes £2,400. Click here to learn more
There’s no ‘right way‘ to start. Just your way. Whatever feels wholesome to you.
If this is for you.
You'll know.
You'll feel it.