If the answer is yes …I can relate to you …because that was me some time ago …that’s before someone asked me a simple question.
Before I share the simple question, I’d like to ask, “What happened to good old conversation?”
Many years ago, when someone asked you:
‘How’s things?’ ‘What have you been up to?’
Your likely reply was:
‘Great, I’ve just come back from a weekend away, explored the history of the area, tasted some great local cuisine’ or ‘Great, I’ve been designing a leadership development programme with a new client to build their leadership capacity, and just off now for a coaching session looking at how to utilise their strengths …the client’s making some great changes.’
So, let’s bring things right back up to date, and ask the same question …somehow the likely conversation goes something like this.
‘What have you been up to?’
‘Been really busy’
If you’re feeling really generous, you may add this extra bit …’I don’t seem to have a minute spare at the moment, it would be great to catch up, we need to put something in the diary, oh well, must rush, got loads on today, I’m going to be late’
My personal response to this was because my life was really busy. I was busy rushing from one thing to another …I had so much rushing around in my head with no planned time to stop and think …I was distracted by this thing called the internet …and I just felt really busy.
Anyway, feeling really busy was good …right?
At that time, I have to say, I actually thought being busy was proof I was doing really well. I’m slightly cringing here writing this, and owning up to actually believing this …that’s right, somehow, I got some form of enjoyment from saying how busy I was …it was like a badge of honour …”yeah, I’m doing really well …I’m so busy”. That’s until, someone asked me the killer question …
“Busy doing what? …how is your ‘busyness’ helping your business?”
Wow, that really did shoot me down. I was showered with an array of quotes which summed up what I was doing …the one that stuck with me was by Peter Drucker
There I was, feeling very proud of my achievement of being busy, and then in the space of 5 seconds suddenly noticed the patterns on the carpet, and wanted to leave the room.
This question, was such a simple question, which made me realise instantly that just because I was busy, didn’t mean I was being productive, effective or successful.
Then, there it was …my ‘aha’ moment. Nearly instantly, I realised I’d got caught up in the trap of spending my time on doing a lot of things …albeit doing them right; but needed to question myself if I was doing the ‘right’ things …you know the ones which help you reach your goals (and not someone else’s).
Part of my reflections was thinking about all the times, I’d proudly shared with people how busy I was, but more importantly, how many times, I’d dismissed people in my quest for ‘busyness’ and missed out on having lots of genuine conversations with people …all for the sake of wearing my ‘busy’ badge of honour.
So if you want to:
What are you going to do to make sure you spend your time doing the right things (read more) …the ones that help you achieve your goals?
Are you going to commit to having more genuine conversations …you know the ones where you actually listen intently, and ask questions that show you’re engaged …after all conversations are meant to be interactive, feel natural and flowing – the very nature of conversations is to connect.
I’d love to know how you get on with your conversations …but most importantly, let me know that you’ve focused on doing the right things.
Thanks for exploring with Ad Florem
Photo source: VoThoGraf pixabay.com